Crawling out of a Hole

I feel like I am emerging once more after being in 'preservation' mode for ths most part of this month. Work has been draining, rewarding, irritating, frustrating and has played on my mind even in my dreams. I have sucessfully run my first national conference and managed a second one after a re-shuffling in our team left us a litte short recently.

I feel glad that it's over and it's definately a great experience to have, but I belive that I have achieved my goal at my current workplace - I have seen through a conference from start to finish.

During this period I got through each day as it came and everything else just fell by the wayside - my Morning Pages, my lists, my dreaming and my sight of the future. I did not enjoy that part of the experience at all and do not want to feel that way ever again.

I think I can therefore say that I will never and should never be attracted to a job based on rank and salary. I prefer leaving my work at work and carrying out my life the rest of the time.

One big inspiration to me at the moment is Barbara Sher's "Refuse to Choose". She describes me perfectly. Someone who has many interests and never settles down to complete something. And someone who hasn't chosen a 'career' as they feel it would be a jail term.

For now, I am going to carefully disengage autopilot mode, and start to emerge once more from NECESSARY and rediscover time outside of work.